I did it!

So........ last night i finally `did it`.

No, not that!

I finally watched the movie Twilight!

It was good, but i laughed at parts. I'm not sure, you know, i have watched all vampire stuff like buffy, angel, vampire diaries....... true blood.......... i've learnt about spike in buffy and how him and buffy have sex, and it always baffled me how, when spike was dead!.

So i guess vampires are now seen as love interests!. Wow!.

A dead person.....kept alive by sucking blood............. i don't see what's sexy.........

Oh anyway. Twilight!.

Robert Pattinson was ok, Kristen stewart was good. And Taylor Lautner??. Is cute!.

And yeh, it was cute.

Today is valentines day and im lonely. It would be fun to be a vampire, especially having someone to care for you for eternity.

You know. i always want to write. and this is my secret, it's why i have a secret blog!. I like to not tell people it's me...... and not famous..... not at all. People do read my blog who i know from online, but no one from my everyday life know i have a blog............no ones asked, and i've not mentioned anything.

I do think i'd die if they read it!.

So yeh, so when i watched Twilight, i wanted to write............ and i havent wrote for......hmmmm, it must be about 8 months, i stopped myself from writing. I pick up my pen to write....and i instantly write!.

I'm not sure what happends, and it's not like what i write is any good, it's just romance basically and things like that. Honestly. I have never had a relationship in my life, i've never kissed a man or even touched one...yet i write about sex, love, kissing and even having babies!.

I write about Doctors, and im the patient and he has to heal my heart, i mean emotionally. And about .....well last night i wanted him to be a vampire doc like u see in twilight....... it came out that........ we where on a beach...... and he was a psychiatrist!. and i was his patient, and he could read minds............... so thats why...........and yeah i wrote we slept together, but why do i write this stuff!.

i have never slept with a doctor.......... i have never wore a camisole, or been to crete, or layed looking up at the stars. I've never played with a mans chest hair, or had someone kiss my neck.

And yeh, it's valentine's day, and this man i have been chatting with for the past 4yrs read my ecard, but didnt send me one back, or even text, or email me..........

He said the night before "love is not a game". And yeah, and maybe i'm crazy and need a shrink like in my movies, but he drives me crazy , and i like him. But, no......i'm not going to meet him, cos men come to the woman, and guess he doesnt give a stuff about me,, and we been on webcam, and everything, i guess my life is been lived in a dream world.

So maybe it would be nice to be Bella and have a vampire boyfriend like edward, someone who cares for all eternity.

I do like writing, but i did stop because i write about love, and it's driving me crazy, and i'd like to do something more,,,,write something better...but i honestly don't know what to write about.

They say write stuff you know about, but what do i know about?.

I'm not sure i know anything.